Wednesday, June 06, 2007

What makes it worthwhile

Catch Up

Well, May was a BUSY month! I had a Math seminar, the Forum in Lethbridge, a holiday in Canmore, a couple days at Crooked Creek, lots of company....whew! What will June be like?

I'm excited and resolved to get into some serious studying. Both TJED events inspired me to forge ahead in my own education. I love meeting with people who are making a difference, who love to learn, who are passionate and articulate and excited about changing the world, starting with themselves. I have a vision and a passion too, and can start RIGHT NOW to do what I can do, what I am called to do. My focus will be shifting to accomplish some new goals, and some old goals I've let slide. I'll have to change some things and rearrange some things and push myself harder in a LOT of things.

Our week away with the family was a perfect time for reflection. I saw a "sign", literally, in a wonderful little place in Canmore called "Communitea". (Try it out if you're there..great atmosphere, super tea, delicious, healthy food.)
The sign said "If you must doubt something, doubt your limits". How inspiring! I was reminded of it as I hiked and climbed some places I thought were beyond my limits. Levi reminded me of it, Vanessa quoted it too, as did Josh. As I sweated and gasped and hauled my sorry behind up a mountain I thought..."Are you guys nuts?! You thought I could actually make this climb?!"
But rather than give up, I pressed Levi wasn't too fond of the shortness of breath he felt at that altitude either, so we talked about doing really hard things but doing them at our own personal pace. It's not a race. Any journey we take, we move ahead one step at a time.
It's like my education. Six years ago...SIX YEARS....I discovered this TJED model of learning. I am nowhere near where I want to be on the journey. I've been sidetracked. I've fought it because it's HARD. I've been lazy too often and taken the easy path that leads not up to where the air is clear and the view is spectacular, but to the same old puddle that's in the ditch by the side of the wide, common conveyor belt freeway.
But I don't need to stay there. I have examples of amazing people who are ahead of me on the climb, who are constantly holding out a hand to steady me, pull me up, encourage me. Some of them are unaware of the impact they have on my climb, on my personal desire to attempt to take it to the next level. There are so many! Debi. Heather. Tanya. Jonathon. Kathy and Kirk. Peggy. Karen. Sherri and Paul. Real people who are honest and transparent and imperfect and strong and brilliant and generous. How can I thank them? There are many more too. Examples of perseverance and grace and faith and self sacrifice and good humour. They make the pain bearable, and the desire to climb higher more intense.
The analogy gets a little cheesy, I know...but it is very real to me, at this moment, with the image of my "sign" so fresh in my memory.
"If you must doubt something, doubt your limits." I think I need to put that where I will see it each day. Not like a tattoo on my forearm, but on my wall, above my doorposts, written on my heart.